Irken in Love
by ZoologyKaM
Summary: Two years after his deployment to earth, Zim was informed his mission was fake and he's banished to that planet forever. Five years after that he and the Dib are mostly trusting of one another. In their 2nd year of high school Zim encounters his biggest challenge on earth ever. He has fallen in love with a human. Will the feeling be mutual? Will Zim reveal he's an alien?
1. Dib's Cousin- Release the Meat!

_Hey there people! This is an Invader Zim idea that I had that actually came from an idea I got for a sequal to this. If I manage to make it through this one then I'll try the sequal which is sure to be hilarious since it involves Zim becomming a Daddy. I hope you'll all forgive me for using my sorta name as the name of a new character you'll see. But I wanted to do a nice 3 letter name like Zim Dib and Gaz and that was the first thing I thought of._

_Well I hope you enjoy it! If not let me know why! I'm eager to improve my writing._

* * *

Filthy valentine's day… even though he and the earth Dib were no longer fighting every day, Dib had made a point of every year presenting Zim with a slab of earth meat. Usually by throwing it at his head. Zim was not about to let that happen this year. It took almost a full earth week for his face to repair itself after the meat fused to his skin. "Not this time." Zim assured himself.

After he had gotten the news that his mission was a fake, and had stood in front of the monitor for a week while the Tallest's words sunk in, Zim had immediately gone to the Dib human to announce he would no longer be trying to take over the planet. Dib of course had not believed him until after his saw Zim implode most of his super weapons. There was no point to keeping them; after all, the almighty Tallest said they would blow up the earth and Zim with it, if they ever heard from him again. Zim did not like the idea of blowing up.

Years past and Zim began to admit (though only to himself) that he was becoming attached to the strange little planet. This became all the more true after the Dib monkey had accepted Zim would no longer make any plots. Since then the two of them had even shared meals with one another talking all sciencey and stuff. Zim wasn't the best at paying attention, but when it came to mechanics and science he was more than capable by human standards.

"Well that's enough thinking of the past," Zim said to GIR as he packed up the last of his defensive weaponry. "With this stuff neither the humans nor the Dib monkey will be able to touch me with their filthy earth meat. GIR stay here and guard the house!" And with that Zim headed to another day of skool.

Along the way it started to rain lightly. Zim was not worried though. He had mostly adjusted to life on Earth. The water no longer pained him like it used to, making a light paste bath eliminate the problem completely. That was not the only changes the planet had caused on his Irken physiology. By now he was the height of a human teenager which was very tall for an Irken but still shorter than the almighty Tallest.

Arriving at the skool Zim cringed at the humans who were exchanging slabs of meat with one another. Seeing the meat made him feel sick. Just then his PAK activated and with the supplies in his bag vaporized the meaty projectile. "Dib! You didn't really think I would let you get away with it again did you!?" He turned to face his assailant.

"Sorry my cousin told me that you guys had a tradition of throwing meat on Valentine's Day. Nice laser." Dib walked up next to the human girl that had spoken.

"Chill Zim," Dib said smiling, "This is the last time. I just couldn't resist since my cousin was transferring in today."

"Very well Dib… OH MY GOD IS THAT BIG FOOT?!" Zim pointed and yelled.

"Where!?" And as fast as Dib had turned his still freakishly large head a slab of meat had smashed into the back of it.

His cousin and Zim laughed as Dib pulled BBQ covered ribs off the back of his head.

"Nice one." She high-fived Zim. "Your name is Zim right? I'm Kameron but call me Kam."

"Nice to meet you Kam. I am the normal human boy, and not an alien, Zim." Zim said shaking Kam's hand.

"Ok cool. Dib was going to show me to the office but he's busy scraping BBQ off his head. Mind showing me the way?" She laughed when a bird started pecking at the back of Dibs head for the juicy sauce. Her laugh was strangely different than that of most humans. Not all evil and mocking.

"It would be my pleasure," Zim said while thinking of all the ways he could humiliate Dib in front of his cousin. The two of them headed inside, leaving Dib to defend himself against the large eyed dog that was now sniffing the ribs on the ground.


	2. Information Exchange and Foodening

_So I noticed that out of 20 people that read the first chapter only 4 went on to the 2nd. Is this story really that bad? I'm sorry... I won't stop writing it because I need to know what happens next. Thats the thing about my stories. I don't know what's going to happen untill I get there. Even if no one else cares what happens I still get excited to see more._

_Am I a weird author?_

* * *

"Did he really?" Kam laughed, "Well that's my cousin for yah. Always with his head stuck in something paranormal."

On the way to the teacher's office Zim had told her many of the truthful things Dib had said but which everyone else thought was completely crazy, thus making Dib look crazy.

_This is fun_ Zim thought to himself. Tak was the only one before that had ever appreciated humiliating Dib in the same way. Tak had gone back to the empire several years ago in order to fight her own banishment ruling.

Later in class the annoying-overly-happy-education-human introduced Kam to the class. "Well Okie Dokie. Now where should we have you sit?" The smile on that humans face made Zim shiver as it always reminded him of the Keef boy he had foolishly used as a friendship unit back when he was an invader.

Zim reached over and shoved the girl next to him out of her seat. "Excuse me teacher this seat is open." Sitting next to that other human had been a daily annoyance anyway. Kam smiled at him and went to sit down.

"Okie Dokie. Sounds great! Now today's class we will be talking about the wonderful world of…" Zim didn't bother listening to the rest of the class. Attending school was merely a way to pass the time. He learned nothing from this pitiful planet's educational system that those 10 years in the depths of Irk had not already taught him. He stared out the window like usual but found himself occasionally glancing over to the Kam human's seat. She appeared as bored as he felt. Perhaps they could come up with a way to explode the annoying education human together. Zim decided he would propose the idea during skool foodening time.

The bell took forever to ring but when it did and they all had proceeded to the lunching Zim sat down at his usual table, he had given up trying to ingest the cafeteria goo and had built a nutrition harvesting dome in his base, which he used to pack food he could actually eat without becoming sick. Shortly after he sat down, Dib, Gaz and Kam joined him at the table.

"Well Dib I see you survived the bird." Zim mocked.

"Yeah, no thanks to you. So anyway, Kam and I were talking about a science experiment and we were wondering if you wanted to help us out." Dib began picking at the grey slime on his tray.

"Dib tells me you're good with mechanics," Her smile was cool like the white dwarf that Irk orbited, "I was reading an article about hardening laser plasma in order to build materials that, once cooled, would become harder than diamond and denser than iron and I was thinking…"

_Such a fascinating human._ The concept she spoke of was a basic model of construction on Irk. Very simple but it required complex machinery, which was unlikely that a human would ever understand, much less be able to construct it with materials available on this planet.

"…anyway, my uncle said we could use his lab as long as Dib doesn't go paranormal on us. I thought we could work on it after school. Want to join us?" Zim had to force himself out of his own thoughts. He found it curious that he kept looking at her. Normally he didn't care to stare at a human for any other reason than to decide how best to make them less annoying.

Dib elbowed Zim when he didn't respond.

"Uh… What?" Zim asked, bringing his attention back to the words being said.

"She said we're going to my dad's lab after school. You should come with."

"You want ZIM's Help?" Zim yelled louder than necessary. Dib and Kam exchanged a look and shrugged. Lowering his arms Zim also shrugged, "yeah ok sure."

"You gonna come to, Gaz?" Kam asked.

Gaz looked up from her Game Slave 5, "And spend the afternoon with these two? Not a chance. Besides I have a date."

Zim wondered what brain-melted monstrosity would ever want to spend time with the scary-purple-demon-earthling, but decided he didn't really care. The four of them finished their lunches and suffered through the day's remaining classes.


	3. Let's avoid exploding Please?

Chapter 3 - Let's avoid Exploding Please?

"Look I know what you're going to say but supernatural powers could easily explain the existence of a human with laser vision." Dib and Kam had been arguing for about half the walk to Membrane labs.

"And I already told you that the excess production of energy and radiation that close to a person's brain would fry them in an instant." Zim had never seen anyone continue to argue with the Dib monkey for so long without calling any of his paranormal theories crazy. Personally he knew Kam was right in the most part but he had never really cared to study Dib's theories.

"Zim. There must be at least one alien species that has laser vision right?" Dib asked half pleading.

Once again the Dib monkey had forgotten that his identity as an Irken was a secret to every human other than him and Gaz.

"I have no idea what you mean. I am not an alien. How would I know if there are aliens with laser vision?" _I'll send GIR to his house later with a Meekrobian stink bomb, _Zim told himself.

Kam punched Dib. "Really Cuz? I know you're obsessed with aliens but that doesn't mean Zim is."

"No but he's…" Dib shut up after Zim glared, with PAK pointing a laser at him.

After they arrived at the lab, the three of them had to go through the security checkpoints. Zim and Dib had worked together in the past to find a way for Zim to get PAK inside without setting off alarms for unauthorized technology. It was such a habit by now that they completely forgot Kam was there.

"Where's that backpack of yours?" She asked Zim as they walked through the final security check.

"Heh? Uhhh…." He gave Dib an 'Oh crap now what!?' look.

Dib to the rescue, "They had to scan it for… uhh… residual bacteria from Zim's… umm….. dog?"

"YES! My dog. He gets ill with normal earth dog diseases."

Kam looked at the two of them with a raised eyebrow then just shrugged and walked in. They each made 'phew that was close' reaction then followed. This human was smarter than most. Zim decided he would have to be more careful.

Dib lead Kam off to the area of the lab they usually worked in while Zim went and retrieved PAK. When he got to the room the two of them were already at work writing up equations and drawing blueprints. Zim leaned over the chemical-energy-output equation Kam was writing out.

"That part is incorrect. If you mix those two in that amount of pressure you won't be able to contain the output of energy."

Kam looked up at him then back at her equation. Zim watched fascinated as the human quickly scanned over what had probably taken her an hour to write out. "Oh that's where I messed up." She said pointing to a particularly messy area with multiple scratched notes. Zim had to look over the spot several times before he could see where the error was.

The three of them worked on, talking and comparing notes, though Zim did very little writing. He already knew the technology there was no point in pretending he didn't. Even if he had been a slightly unsuccessful invader that didn't mean that his knowledge of Irken technology was in any way lacking.

Over time the Dib human's questions got more annoying as he continually failed to understand why earth materials would be insufficient to contain the heated plasma at a proper pressure and still be able to progressively cool it. During one particularly drawn out question Zim simply stopped listening and found himself watching Kam as she worked at a nearby computer designing a program to test their increasingly large number of theories.

_This human female is as skilled with computers as an Irken. _Zim thought to himself. Even the Dib monkey worked by rewriting old programs, but here she was writing a program from scratch for a process she did not fully understand.

An elbow in the midsection of his squeedlyspooch brought his attention back to Dib.

"What's with you today?" Dib half whispered. "You keep losing focus, not that that's any different from normal, but usually you're… louder."

"Heh?" Had he been? He really hadn't noticed. "Me? LOUD!? Whatever do you mean?" Zim said folding his hands looking as innocent as a newborn smeet with a super weapon.

"Uh huh. Yeah ok. Well anyway couldn't we just… Zim?" Zim was looking at Kam again. Dib's confused look turned into an evil smirk when he poked the back of Zim's head.

Swatting at Dib's hand, "What do you want earth monkey? I already told you that there aren't any materials you can obtain on this planet that will allow you to get the…" Zim paused when he noticed Dib's smirk. "What?"

"You like her don't you?"

It took Zim a moment to process this.

"ZIM? Like a HUMAN!? Nonsense."

"But you keep staring at her."

"I am simply evaluating the differences between her greater intellect verses the distended size of your head."

Dib didn't have time to think of a return insult because a security guard walked in and told them they were locking up the lab for the night. They packed up their stuff and left. Zim was more careful through the security checks on the way out.


	4. Do Irkens Sweat?

_I'll be honest I'm really excited about this story. I'm trying to keep Zim as much in his old character as I can but after being on earth for 7 years and knowing that he won't destory the humans for 5 of those years, there has to be some amount of mental growing up to do. Sorry if this annoys anyone. _

_Also, in the previous chapter when I said all that sciency stuff... I had no idea what I was talking about. If I made them sound smart, Good Great! If I made myself sound like an idiot then... oops... READ MORE OR DOOM WILL FALL UPON YOU!_

* * *

After a while Dib split off since his house was in a different direction. Kam planned to catch a bus that stopped not too far from Zim's base so the two of them continued walking together. They talked about skool, the disgustingly perky teacher and how best to annoy Dib.

"Ya know Zim you're really smart. Not like the rest of that class. I'm surprised someone like you isn't in Collage already." Zim noticed how her brown eyes turned an interesting shade of red in the dimming light of the earth star.

"Yes well, this is all natural for Zim. You can stand in awe now."

Kam laughed. The white dwarf of Irk wasn't even a good comparison anymore. This human was having a curious effect on his squeedlyspooch and he began to feel very nervous.

"You're also very smart. Though I am surprised you take Dib seriously with much of his paranormal ranting."

Kam shrugged, "Not all of his ideas are impossible. Bigfoot may be just a human with a hair growth disorder, and with a whole universe out there, who's to say there aren't any aliens. Dib's biggest problem is that he assumes that all these phenomena are out for the personal destruction of humans."

"Hehe… Yeah… Human destruction." Zim felt both guilty that he had once given the Dib monkey a reason to distrust everything, and oddly relieved that Kam didn't find alien's repulsive.

"So hey," Zim was cut off when PAK suddenly lit up, screeching an alert. An alarm was going off in the base. "Urgh that useless robot," Zim muttered quickly turning off PAK's alert. "I have to get home. The umm… dinner…?... is finished cooking, yes that's it. I'LLSEEYOULATERGOODBYE!" Zim yelled back as he ran off leaving Kam standing there rather confused.

Ariving back at the base he found the Parental Units were once again malfunctioning, and he had to go rescue the earth-boy-selling-popcorn from Robo-dad. Some major alterations were needed. He had tried many times to fix their programing but they had proved as difficult to manage as GIR. If things kept up like this he would be better off just deactivating them.

He was no longer impersonating a human child that required constant attention from some adult authority human. It would be easy to explain that he simply lived alone.

"GIR! Take the robo-parents down to repair deck 5, and make sure they don't leave."

GIR stared at him for a moment, screeched "WEEEEEEEEEEE" then grabbed Robo-dad and jumped down the elevator shaft.

"Hmf." _Well at least he sort of follows orders_, Zim thought as he tossed Robo-mom down the shaft as well. GIR had been falling into disrepair as well. Being banished to earth for such a long time was beginning to take its toll on all of the Irken technology. Reprograming and repairing the house constantly kept him busy. Although when Zim thought about it, with no plotting how to destroy the humans he really wasn't busy doing much else.

The elevator opened on repair deck 5. Robo-dad was smashing himself into the wall, Robo-mom was swimming through a pile of scrap metal and spare parts, and GIR had the angry monkey show pulled up on one of the monitors.

"Even working with the Dib stink would be more productive than trying to fix you guys." Zim yelled at the three crazy robots. Perhaps he could use the Kam human's knowledge of computer coding to create proper human action interfacing for the parental units. Gah! No, that wouldn't work. He would have to reveal that he was not an earthling. Zim wasn't sure what her reaction would be. He also wasn't sure why he cared, but for now things were better left as they were.

"Computer! Restrain the Robo-parents. I have a lot of work to do tonight."

* * *

_When I said there had to be some growing up to do I hadn't yet read the transcript for the unfinished episode "The Trial" Zim you are the most amazing invader ever! That much distruction and yet you get away with the reward of driving the Massive for 10 minutes? Props dude. I'm still going to write that you've mature a bit though. I mean 30 Irk years of destruction doesn't have to be the same as 7 earth years of fighting with Dib. _


	5. To Like or Not To Argue

_Hahaha! This chapter is so cute! I've allways been a fan of those close friendships that love to tease each other, and that comes into this chapter. Sorry I'll stop the spoilers. I was kind of stuck after the last chapter trying to figure out how to move the story along faster than my other story. I hope I did a good job. _

_Let me know what you think!_

* * *

During lunch the next day Zim noticed that Dib and Kam seemed to be ignoring one another. They had both sat on at the table near Zim but they didn't actually look at each other. Zim didn't really care why they were upset with each other but it made lunchening so quiet his antennae began to itch.

Curious where the purple-hair-demon-sister was Zim looked around and saw her sitting at a table in the corner holding hands with some male-dressed-like-death-earth-stink. The fear that he and Dib felt for her usually broke up any disagreements making him almost wish she were here now.

While he usually preferred to avoid acting like a human, standard earthling friendship protocol dictated that when two friends seem to be fighting, the friendship-units not in the argument should ask why.

"So are you two fighting?"

Dib looked up surprised. "Well uhh…"

"No we're not." Kam was picking at her tray of greenish-grey slop with a disinterested look.

"Well ok then."Zim continued eating his porsckin sandwich.

Zim assumed Dib had been the cause of the argument and Kam didn't really care for anyone to know she was upset so, when she began talking to Dib again, Zim decided it no longer mattered. Things got better as the foodening progressed. The three talked about yesterday's experiments, Dib told a story about blowing up his first lab, and Zim commented that he had been doing repairs on his house all night. This was a mistake.

"Do you live alone? Can't your parents do the repairs?" Kam asked with some concern in her voice.

"Yes I live alone." _Great now I'll actually have to disable the Robo-parents when I get home… more work._ "I am not a weak earth smeet… I MEAN BABY!...(shifty eyes from Zim) I can take care of myself." Dib raised an eyebrow at Zim, but just shrugged and began inspecting his carton of milk for any peculiar smell.

"Never said you couldn't." Kam was also looking for the expiration date on her carton. "If you want I could help you out with repairs. It sounds like you got a lot of machinery at your house. I could probably help out so you don't have to work all night."

Dib did a kind of spit take and began excitedly waving his hand in the air. Zim sighed as he knew this meant the earth-filth wanted to come along as well. He barely wanted Dib touching his Irken tech, but Dib at least already knew what he really was, and had also worked with Tak's ship in the past. Kam didn't know any of this. He couldn't exactly show her the robo-parents and say they needed new programing.

"NO! I mean… No thank you friends. I can manage repairs to my shelter-unit on my own." Zim smiled trying to look capable.

"Ok then."

After school Kam had to head home right away to help her mom with some stuff. Dib walked with Zim to his base. Zim said he would allow Dib to come over and keep GIR occupied while he worked; as long as it was kept secret from Kam.

"Why don't you just tell her?" Dib had said this a couple times already during the walk and Zim was getting sick of hearing it.

"Because earth-stink. My identity as an Irken was always supposed to be a secret. I simply had the misfortune of meeting you when I was lacking in knowledge of human interfacing."

"But you know she's not stupid. She'll figure it out eventually."

"Unlike you Kam is more accepting of possibilities that I am simply a poor mutated earth-worm-baby with a skin condition and… What?" Zim decided he would have to create a weapon that disabled the smiling centers of the human brain.

"You just called her Kam."

"Well that is her name."

"Yes but you never call anyone by their name. You say stuff like earth-stink or call them a monkey."

"What is your point earth-stink?"

"It's so obvious you like her."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"URGH! You never quit do you?"

"Sorry but this is just too funny. The great Invader Zim is in Love with a human." Dib was smiling with a complete confidence of victory.

Zim just gritted his teeth, mumbled some things about Dib's giant head having too many ideas, and kept walking.

"So are you afraid she will be scared away if you tell her?" This time Dib's voice didn't have a mocking tone. If Zim didn't know better he might have thought Dib sounded concerned.

As they arrived at Zim's base, Zim said, "I assure you it is nothing of the sort. Now I have much work to do and I would enjoy it more if I did not have to listen to you the whole time. So away with you earth-monkey, BEGONE FROM ZIM!" And with that Zim ran in and slammed the door.

Once he was sure Dib had gone, Zim discarded his disguise and turned to address the house.

"Computer! I need you to gather some information for me." He needed to know more if he was going to debunk the Dib-stink's comments. "Find out what 'Love' is."


	6. What is Love?

Today was Saturday and Zim found Dib in his garage working on his earth built version of an Irken vessel. When Dib didn't notice him come in Zim threw a tennis ball at his head.

"Oww! Oh hey."

"I thought we agreed you shouldn't be working on Irken technology until you understand it? Don't forget what happened last time you messed with Tak's ship."

Dib sat back from the ship cleaning his hands off with an oil-stained rag. "It's not Irken. These are all materials I got from earth, mostly from my dad's lab."

Zim raised an eyebrow, "yes but the schematics are those of Tak's ship are they not?"

Dib's eyes just glanced around the room. "Umm… Maybe?"

Zim let out a loud annoyed sigh. When would the Dib-stink learn that all of his attempts with Irken technology ended in explosion. "Anyway I did some research on your filthy planet's definition of 'love' and I am here to inform you that I have contracted no such disease. Thank you and now we can end the topic." Zim stood eyes closed hands on his sides, in a triumphant posture.

"Love's not a disease. I mean ok people say Love sick but that's not really what it means." Zim just stared at Dib with a blank look on his face.

"But your earth information says that when someone feels 'Love' they show symptoms such as stomach ache, sweaty palms, and disgusting amounts of happiness."

Dib just stared at Zim trying to figure out how to explain it. "Yeah ok I guess so, but that's because you get nervous around the person."

"ZIM IS NEVER NERVOUS! So clearly I do not have this love you speak of."

Dib was at a loss. He wasn't exactly the best person to explain this, though as much as it pained him, he had an idea who might be able to.

"Hey Gaz, can we talk to you for a second?" Dib had dragged Zim up the stairs to his sister's room and Zim wasn't exactly thrilled to be there. Gaz had once beaten him up for mistaking her room for Dib's not long before he had been told his mission was fake.

"Oh great. What do you two want?" Gaz was sitting on her bed with her Game Slave 5. Her homework lay scattered on the bed and the floor, completely forgotten.

"I was hoping you could explain to Zim what it means to like someone." Dib said dragging Zim through the door.

Surprisingly, Gaz paused her game and looked up, one of her squinty eyes open. "And why would I do that?" Dib was an annoyance, the Gaz-demon was the only human Zim almost feared. His eye twitched when she glared at him. How could two females of the same species be so different? Then again he still didn't believe those tests, that said the Gaz-monster was just a normal human, were right.

"I think he likes Kam but he refuses to admit it. Apparently they don't have a word for 'love' on his home planet." Dib and Gaz both looked at Zim who just stared back blankly.

Gaz's eye twitched. "Fine but if anything I say leaves this room I will unleash the horror of a thousand nightmares upon your souls." Dib just smiled and nodded. A thousand was a lot of nightmares to Zim.

"L..like…" Gaz struggled to force herself to say something so embarrassing, "Liking someone means that you n…no.. notice lots of things about them. You don't mind or even want to spend time with them." Zim was shocked to see Gaz was blushing, for a reason other than rage and fury. "It means you worry about what they think of you, even if normally you don't care what people say. And it…" Gaz started twitching like she was about to say the most disgusting thing in the world, "…it makes y..you ha…hap…Happy," she spat out that word like it was poison, clenched her fist and continued, "when they say your name."

Then she stared at the two of them. Dib was smiling staring at Zim who was deep in thought. "Now if you two don't get out of my room I'll send my security after you."

Suddenly afraid for their lives they both ran out in a hurry.

* * *

_Zim and Dib have the kind of friendship that says "If we're being chased by flesh eating zombies, I'm tripping you." Which I find really cute! Kam wasn't in this whole chapter I know but Dont worry she'll be back and the awkwerdness will continue! Favorite this story if you think it's adorible how Zim doesn't know what Love is!_


	7. I am Defective

Love is identifying qualities of the other being without running painful tests on them? Zim thought about that red shade of her eyes in the sunset. He thought about how much it had annoyed him when his ID PAK had forced him to run home yesterday. It couldn't be possible. A mighty Irken invader, swayed by such disgusting and primitive emotions? Did this have to do with the fact he was a defective?

Zim knew how hard it was for him to keep his thoughts orderly. Ever since The Trial he had been trying his hardest to repair himself; he had been lucky to escape with his life.

**Happy** was an acceptable emotion for Irkens; destroying one's enemies was supposed to bring you great joy. The only thing you were really supposed to **want** was victory and doughnuts. An invader was not meant to **care about any opinion** other than that of the Almighty Tallest. This had to be the fault of his defective PAK.

Coming to that realization, Zim decided that to continue to repair himself he should simply ignore these feelings.

Zim had spent this time thinking leaning against a wall of Dib's garage. Dib had simply continued working because by now he knew that it took Zim some time to process new information. It was a small explosion from the engine that brought Zim back around, while also blasting Dib out of the garage.

"See? Have I not told you that Irken technology is far too complex for your pitiful human mind to comprehend?" Zim mocked as Dib brushed himself off and realigned his glasses.

"I'll figure it out eventually." Dib walked back over to the engine to see what he could salvage. "So have you figured anything out yet?"

Zim pretended to casually study his boots. "Possibly… I have determined that love is an unnecessary emotion for an Irken. The only reason I may accidently feel it would be due to the errors that occurred during my I.D. PAK's original programing. Therefore I plan to simply ignore this PITIFUL HUMAN EMOTION and continue on as if nothing has changed." Zim once again struck a confident pose.

Why was the Dib-human shaking his head?

"Do you really think you'll be able to just ignore it?"

Zim continued to stare at his boots. He did not like being labeled a defective. He no longer had any enemies to destroy so he no longer had a reason to be happy. This was the proper punishment for a Defective.

"I don't really have much other choice. Do you really think she would be able to accept me as what I truly am?" Zim couldn't believe what he was saying. Revealing his identity was a threat to his life, if no longer having a mission. It was something he could not do.

Dib just smiled and wiped a spot off his glasses. "You'll never know until you try. Right?"

The engine started to overheat again, forcing Zim to step in before there could be any larger explosions. The two of them worked mostly in silence, with Zim occasionally attempting to explain some of the machinery to Dib, leaving Zim to his thoughts.

_But I do know. After all, how could she?_

* * *

_Zim has made his decision. Will Kam remake it for him? This story is getting so intense I can't get myself to take a break between chapters! _

_What do you think? Is the story moving along too fast? I'm kinda wondering about that because my other story is much longer but it's also based off a much longer seires. Well anyway I wonder what's going to happen now!_


	8. Too Smart for Irk's Own Good

_ZIM YOU'RE SO CUTE! I kind of feel bad saying love means you're defective/broken. Don't hate me Zim! I love you! I'll be a Defective with you!_

* * *

Zim was on his way to school Monday when he heard his name called. Kam was running up the street. He tried to push back the happy feeling he got as he waited for her.

"How was your weekend? I heard you went over to Dib's house." She said trying to catch her breath.

"Heh..? Oh yes. The Dib-monkey was working on a project he needed help with. Plus I also had a few things to discuss with him."

"Yeah I heard about this project. It sounds too complicated for Dib to handle."

"Yes working on that ship is very beyond his capabilities."

"Oh so it's some kind of ship?"

Zim's eyes bugged open. He stopped dead in his tracks. This was not good.

"NO! I meant… umm… It's a boat, for water… YES! That's it." He could see Kam was not buying it.

She stopped to look back at him. _I can't let her find out Dib is working on an Irken vessel! She would want to know where he got the schematics for it!_

"Look I'm not stupid." Well this was obvious. She had just tricked Zim into saying something he had been kept awake all night trying to figure out how to avoid.

Zim casually continued walking, looking away from Kam, trying to think of anything to say to make her forget what she had heard.

"I don't know why you guys are hiding this from me. You know I could help." Zim felt a twinge of guilt. Kam sounded furious. _Don't worry about what she thinks!_ Zim reminded himself.

Realization set in. "Wait… Is this why you were mad at Dib the other day?"

Kam didn't respond.

"It is, isn't it?"

"Yeah, so what?!" She snapped at him. "I mean I've known my cousin for so long. I've let him into so many of my top secret projects, and suddenly he can't tell me what's going on? And you're no better. I called the Membrane house while I was on my way home on Friday cause I'd forgotten to tell Dib something, and he wasn't there. Gaz told me he went to your house."

Zim had no idea what to say to this. Even though he had in the end sent Dib home without letting him in, he had still agreed to let Dib come in the first place. Zim felt terrible. He hated hurting her feelings as much as he hated that he felt bad about it. He felt even worse after her next statement.

"I transferred to this school hoping to make some new friends… When people found out I was related to Dib they wouldn't give me a chance. You were different. So smart and you didn't laugh at my cousin's talk of aliens."

This conversation was getting very dangerous and they were still a decent walk away from the skool.

"Kam… I…"

"Oh it's you guys." Gaz came walking up a cross street. They had reached the point where the Dib and Gaz's walk intersected with Zim's.

Zim was truly impressed by her acting when Kam smiled and greeted Gaz like nothing had happened. Humans were normally so transparent with their emotions.

"Dib's not with you?" Kam asked.

"No. He said he finally got that thing of his working and he was going to make a test run."

_Great…_ from one bad situation to another. "That FOOL! He's going to explode if he flies it as it is now."

"What? What's going on?" Kam looked worried. Gaz just shrugged and continued walking.

"The Dib-filth is about to do something I've told him not to." Turning to Dib's house, he took off at a run. He had to stop this or Dib would probably die.

Footsteps right behind him made Zim look back. Kam was following.

"You should just go to the filthy-earth-skool. You'll be late if you come with." He wanted to stop and force her to go, but time was of the essence.

"My cousin is in danger and you're telling me to go to class? Are you stupid or something?"

When Zim looked at her he was shocked. He could see from the look in her eyes. Kam was terrified.

He smiled._ Such an outstanding human. She's afraid but she's willing to do whatever it takes._

"Very well but you'll do as I say. We don't have much time and if we can't stop him before he takes off, obeying orders will be absolutely critical." He looked over as Kam nodded. "Don't worry," Zim said softly. "I won't let him die."

* * *

_ZOMG! Climax time! This is getting intense! DIB YOU FOOL! _


	9. Zero Options

Running at full speed, it took them 7.31 earth minutes to reach the Membrane house. Zim didn't bother with the house and leapt over the fence, Kam following right behind. He had to stop Dib from taking off no matter what.

When they reached the back of the garage, where Dib had set up his work station, Zim skid to a halt. Neither Dib nor the ship was there.

"CURSES… That Fool!" Zim extended his communicator out of PAK. "DIB, You meat brained idiot! What on Irk do you think you're doing!?"

A static filled response came from the communicator, "Zim? How'd you get the Com frequency? I hadn't even programmed one."

"I programed it on Saturday! Now would you SHUT UP and come land that thing!?" Zim was hoping he hadn't been up too long. There were some major issues with the steering connections. If Dib didn't return soon he might lose control of the ship.

"No way, Zim!" Dib laughed, "It's working like a dream. I'll be back down after I run a few more tests."

Zim almost lost his balance when out of nowhere Kam grabbed the communicator. "YOU IDIOT! YOU DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WERE BUILDING! YOU HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING IF IT'S SAFE!"

Zim stared at Kam in shock. He had totally forgotten she was there.

"KAM?! Zim you brought her with you!? But if she sees…"

Zim leaned back towards the communicator, which Kam was holding behind him. "Don't you think I know that you Fool!? Now come land that thing at once!"

The two heard a heavy sigh come out of the speakers, "Ok fine. You realize we'll have a lot of explaining to do after this don't you Zim?"

"I'll worry about that when the time comes." Zim pulled the communicator out of Kam's hands. "How far are you from your house?"

"I'm passing over the skool now. Hey! I can see Gaz!"

"Yes Yes, I know the view is outstanding for your tiny earth brain but PAY ATTENTION! How are the steering controls? Have they made any unexpected jerks or pulls in one direction?"

There was silence for a few seconds. "The steering..? It's been just fine. It looked alright when I took off. Why? Is something wrong?"

"Yes there were a few glitches I was going to tell you about later today since I didn't expect…" Zim heard a Beeping alarm through the com-system. "DIB? What's going on?"

"I don't know! Everything just started…" there was an explosion… then static.

"Dib? DIB?!"

"Zim! What happened?!" Kam was grabbing his arm. She was shaking.

"The control panel must have short circuited." Zim explained as PAK pulled out a video communicator. "There's no other choice! GIR! Bring the cruiser to my location! Hurry!"

"Zim..? What's going on? What do we do now?"

Zim slowly turned and looked Kam straight in the eyes, something he'd been trying to avoid. She was afraid. He wanted to comfort her, to tell her things would be alright, but he was down to his final option and Zim didn't know how it would turn out. One thing he knew for sure. He had to tell her. There was no other way.

"Kam… right now Dib is flying an experimental space craft. The materials are from earth but the design of the ship is not. It is from a planet called Irk… My home planet.

* * *

_*Author makes a squeel of delight similar to GIR* Oh my gawd! I knew I had to put some preasure in there to push things forward but I didn't realize I'd back Zim into a corner! Well Actually by the end up last chapter I kinda figured out how things would end. Still not sure what Kam's reaction is going to be. _

_The two big questions: Will they make it to Dib in time? And how will Kam react?_


	10. The Gooey Green Truth

_The only reason I'm putting out chapters so fast is because it gives me something to do while I'm currently unable to stay standing for long periods of time. I think I have the flu. I aught to be working on other school work right now but with mostly art work to do, I would have to be moving around. Sorry if this chapter is bad my brain is kind of fuzzy from pacing my room. ENJOY!_

* * *

Kam just stood.

Zim pulled the monitor from his PAK closer to check GIR's progress. Then he used it to try and locate the failing ship's energy signature.

"What do you mean, 'Your home planet?' but that would mean…"

"That I'm an alien? Yes. I think just said that. I am having my robot bring my own ship to this location. If he hurries we can use it to go up and rescue the Dib-monkey."

Kam stared at the ground a little ways away. "Then your skin condition..?"

"A lie to hide my identity." Zim hadn't looked up once since he had begun searching for Dib's location. He couldn't. He didn't want to see her any more afraid than she had been. Zim knew if he looked up it would probably rupture his goo-runner midsection of his squeedlyspooch.

He switched the monitor back to check GIR's location. He would arrive shortly.

"and Dib knew this?"

"Yes he was quite the annoyance when I first arrived on this backwater planet." THERE! Zim had located the ship. It was still very high in the air. That's good. The biggest danger for the moment was losing altitude and crashing. It appeared to be headed to the deserted area outside the city. Dib clearly thought he had no option other than to crash. Well at least the earth-stink was managing to stay calm.

The sound of Irken engines overhead drew Zim's gaze away from the screen. GIR had arrived.

Zim activated the remote landing controls, after GIR nocked the satalite dish off the top of the Membrane house, and set the ship down in the far corner of the yard.

GIR leapt out of the cruiser and ran to snuggle his master's leg, squeeling all excited-like.

Zim glanced back at Kam. She was staring at the ship in awe, but mostly fear. Reaching up he pulled off his wig and took out his blue-eyed-human-lenses. Kam's expression hardly changed when he turned around, his large round pink eyes staring deep into her amber brown ones.

"I was lying to you about another thing also." Zim closed his round eyes tight. It was now or never. "I really like you. And I hope you can accept me for what I am…, but we'll have to leave that to later," Zim opened his eyes and reached out, offering Kam his hand. "Right now Dib needs our help."

Kam stared back into his eyes then down at his hand. Zim was sure for a moment she was going to turn and run away. But slowly, she reached out and took his hand. Zim felt that even destroying all of life on earth couldn't have made him as happy as that one moment did.

"Let's go," Zim said as he gently squeezed her hand, "We have a giant head to rescue. And GET OFF OF MY LEG GIR!"

* * *

_Sorry this chapter is shorter. I just figured this was a good stopping point before the big rescue. Still not sure how that's going to turn out yet. Oh and don't question the logic of how 2 life forms the size of human teenagers can fit into Zim's tiny cruiser. I already thought about that and I have no idea how to explain it other than maybe Zim modified it as he found himself growing taller._

_PS. I just had to point this out incase no one understood what I found to be a brilliantly worded alien interpretation of earth, "Zim knew if he looked up it would probably rupture his goo-runner midsection of his squeedlyspooch." = "It would break his heart" _

_ZIM YOU'RE SO CUTE I LOVE YOU!_


	11. The Rescue

As soon as he and Kam were in the voot cruiser Zim shut the hatch and took off. GIR was too busy chasing a squirrel to even notice he had been left behind.

"Do you even know where he's at?" Kam asked leaning over Zim's shoulder.

"He's headed toward that conveniently located desert just west of the city. Dib has probably assumed the worst and is planning to crash land out there." Zim pressed an assortment of flashing buttons on the control panel looking to confirm the location.

"But if he crashes while half the systems are fried."

"Yes. He will probably explode in a HORIBLE mass of metal and fire. BUAHA… oh wait that's bad." Kam was giving him a look. "Well what do you expect when he and I were enemies for so long? Anyway we're almost there."

Sure enough after they flew around the last of the city's skyscrapers they could see a smoke trail headed off towards the desert.

"Oh no! Dib!" Kam yelled. "What do we do?"

Zim pressed a few buttons on the console activating the tractor beam. "Use this screen to target the ship while I pull us up next to it. It's too large and moving too fast for me to do anything but slow it with… Hey what're you!?"

Kam had yanked open the cover of the control panel and was messing with the wires inside.

"Stop that!" Zim yelled. He was trying to concentrait on steering. Besides a human messing with Irken tech was the whole reason they were in this situation.

"Just get up closer!"

"You dare to order ZIM in his own ship?"

"Quit arguing or this fan fiction is about to go horribly wrong!" Kam said yanking one of Zim's antennae.

"YEOOWW! Stop that! Fine! I suppose this could afford to get more dramatic."

Zim slowed the cruiser as they approached the smoking failure attempt at an Irken vessel. Flying just above and to the left, Zim could see that the Dib-monkey was unconscious. The panel for the tractor beam sparked as Kam messed with the wires.

"Got it. Can you see Dib?"

"Yes but what did you just do to my tractor beam?" Zim tried to avoid being squished against the glass as Kam looked out the window at Dib.

Before Zim could stop her she punched the release button for the window hatch and she jumped out of the ship.

"What? NO!" Zim turned to the tractor beam hoping he could catch her, and was relieved to find that she had landed right onto the top of Dib's ship. Turning on the tractor beam now could cause her to fall. Zim was forced to watch as Kam tried to free Dib from the ship.

Next to the conveniently located desert there were some peculiarly placed very pointy mountains. Dib's ship was headed straight for them, and was losing altitude. Zim turned on the speaker on the outside of the ship.

"Hurry! Find the emergency release! It's probably on the front left of the main hatch."

Zim watched as Kam moved up towards the front of the ship. The immense speed was causing her shiny light-brown hair to whip around her face. URGH! This was no time to be spacing out!

Finally Kam found the emergency release. She jumped into the cockpit, shifted the unconscious lump with the giant head over to the side, and began messing with the buttons.

"We don't have time for that! Just grab the useless meat and get out!" Zim yelled over the loud speakers. "I'll grab you two with the tractor beam." If she didn't damage it, that is… Zim looked back at the control panel. Everything seemed to be in order. He didn't have time to check though. The overly-pointy mountains were getting closer.

Kam just kept messing with buttons and wires.

"Stuborn-earth-meat." Now or never. Zim turned on the tractor beam.

Dib's ship was brought to a dead halt. Zim was barely able to react in time to stop his own ship and circle back to face the beam in the right direction.

_How did she…?_

"Zim can you hear me?" Kam had gotten the Com-systems working again.

"Kam? Are you alright?"

"Yeah. That sudden stop startled me a bit but other than that Dib and I are fine. He's still alive at least. I guess I must have powered up the tractor beam a little bit too much."

Too much? Zim was surprised she had been able to successfully do it At All. The drop in tension got to him and he couldn't stop laughing.

"Zim? What's so funny?"

Zim laughed and began lowering the two ships to the ground. "You. One minute you were terrified of an alien the next you're hotwiring his ship. You really are an amazing." Kam didn't respond. Zim really hadn't expected her to. He was just glad she was alive.


	12. Stinks Like Health

_Phew... Glad everything ended happily. Blancing tension and comedy in that last chapter was pretty fun. The story is almost over! _

"I'm sorry I caused you guys so much trouble. I owe you guys my life." Dib had just woken up half an hour ago. The smell of this hospital room was making Zim sick. He still didn't get why they couldn't have just brought Dib-stink back to his base. He had a medical facility, though that was mostly for Irken physiology.

"Maybe next time you'll use your brain and Not fly things you can't operate and… Oww! That hurts!" Kam had elbowed him… hard.

"It's ok Dib just try and get better."

"Either of you got any juice?" Dib asked looking around the room, "I'm kinda thirsty."

"No, but I saw a vending machine down the hall." Kam started walking to the door. "What kind do you want?"

"Anything's good." Dib waved his thanks as she left the room. Turning to Zim he said, "So what happens now?"

"Happens with what?"

"You know… I mean you did tell her you're an alien right? How else would you have explained the ship?"

While they had conveyed the story of their daring rescue to Dib, both Zim and Kam had avoided mentioning that short kiss they had shared when it was all over. Zim just pretended to study his gloved claws. He was starting to see that it was a very convenient way to make himself look disinterested when he actually couldn't come up with anything to say.

"Well… umm… Yes I did tell her."

"And…?"

"And what is it to you earth-stink?"

"You guys kissed didn't you?"

If Irkens could blush, Zim would've been bright red. Luckily for Zim, his inner goo was the same shade of green as his skin. But with nothing to say in response Dib easily figured out he was right.

Kam came back to find the two of them fighting, and had to jump in to separate them before they made Dib's injuries worse.

They spent the next few hours talking. Zim explaining where the problems on the ship were, hoping Dib wouldn't feel the need to try and rebuild it.

"Wait… Kam hotwired your ship?"

"Only the tractor beam, but yes."

"But that would mean she understands Irken technology."

Zim and Dib looked over at Kam who was slurping her own bottle of juice. She shrugged.

"So if she helped I could probably rebuild it and… Hey wait… Does that mean Kam's smarter than me?"

"I always have been Cuz. You just never noticed."

Dib mumbled something about her needing to be told that Zim was an alien and sipped at his own juice.

Zim laughed. Kam came over and leaned against the wall next to him. As the two of them linked hands Zim really didn't care if he was only feeling these things because he was defective. His first friend ever was alive, and he was standing next to the most wonderful sentient creature in existence.

What more could he ask for?


	13. Epilogue & Return to Irk Preview

It had taken over a year to plan. But today was finally the day. Kam sat there and looked at the white bouquet on the table next to her. Gaz was busy behind her fixing Kam's hair.

"I still can't believe you're going to marry that loser." Gaz said putting the last green flower neatly into the neat set of brown braids. Kam just laughed and turned around to hug Gaz.

"Thanks for helping me with my hair."

"Yeah whatever." And with that Gaz left the room leaving Kam to her thoughts. It had been 5 years since they had first met.

Getting over the fact that your boyfriend is an alien wasn't exactly an easiest thing to do. So much had happened since the day he told her. Kam had graduated collage and was working at the Membrane Labs. Zim had started a business for repairing alien ships that broke down in the nearby quadrant. Not Irken ships though. He was still banished from contact with the empire.

Even though he was banished, Kam had managed to convince him to contact at least one Irken to be present at the wedding. It had taken a large amount of convincing, and a little evidence of the planets effect on Irken height, before Invader Skoodge had been willing to come.

A knock on the door pulled Kam out of her thoughts.

"Hey Cuz." Dib cracked the door open. "They told me to tell you it's time."

Zim watched as Kam was walked down the aisle by her father. He would have preferred to not have had to wear his disguise but with regular humans around there wasn't much choice. Besides, Irk didn't really have any such thing as a wedding so going with human traditions was the only other option.

He took Kam's hand from her father. Looking into her eyes, Zim knew that this day, and every one after it, would be the best times of his life.

For the first time, the little invader was truly happy.

Preview: Return to Irk

"NO NO! This… That's not good! We… we can't…" Zim put his hands over his antennae trying to calm himself. He had to be able to do something.

"Zim? What's wrong? I thought you would be happy." Kam stared into Zim's large pink eyes, trying to figure out where such fear was coming from.

"No… I am…" He turned and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Truly I am…"

"But?"

"But…" Though he didn't want to frighten her; she deserved to know. "There's a reason that Irken children are never born off planet…"

* * *

_Well that's the end! I hope you enjoyed reading it! _

_Return to Irk is the original story I had thought of, but I decided I wanted to see how Zim's personality would develop further before I just stuck him into such a situation. I'll try to get onto writing that other one right away. If people leave a review saying they want to read it I might start sooner. If not I'll get to it whenever I get bored or have writers block on Demon's Descendent. _

_Untill next time!_


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